


Wet Lips, Naked Heart

by lemonhopia



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, best friends to fuck buddies to ???, some fluff I guess, some smut but not too explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 10:35:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19171531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonhopia/pseuds/lemonhopia
Summary: He’s not supposed to be back.Brian Kang has left your life two years ago. He’s not supposed to be in your doorstep at past 11pm, looking at you with hopeful eyes just like the version of him you first met. You clench your fists in defense. You can’t let yourself be swept away by the memories of him, no matter how warm and inviting. This Brian isn’t that Brian you knew anymore.But your heart doesn’t cooperate. All your senses remember him crystal clear. It’s like he never left at all.





	Wet Lips, Naked Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by 吐息 - JUS2.

People leave your life for a reason. Once they’re out of your life, it should stay that way. At least that what you believed, and how you wanted things to stay.

“Hello?” The voice on the other line sounds dangerously familiar, and you have prayed to every deity it wasn’t him when you saw the unknown number flash on your phone screen. Your grip on the phone tightens, and you want to scream and throw your phone to the wall as your name rolls off his tongue, the same way he did that night he left.

“Hello? Who is this?” No. You don’t believe it. After all this time, he has no right to come back and expect you to take him with open arms. 

“Has it been that long that you don’t remember my voice anymore?” He didn’t even deserve to be remembered. You did everything in your power to scrub clean all traces of his existence in your life, especially the little bubble you considered your home, your safe haven, that he invaded and left a mess.

“I’m here outside, please,” 

It’s taking all your willpower to stop yourself from opening the front door but you still did. 

You thought the storm raging outside is the only storm you have to deal with, but tonight you opened your door to the biggest disaster that ever hit your home.

He’s not supposed to be back. 

Brian Kang has left your life two years ago. He’s not supposed to be in your doorstep at past 11pm, looking at you with hopeful eyes just like the version of him you first met. You clench your fists in defense. You can’t let yourself be swept away by the memories of him, no matter how warm and inviting. This Brian isn’t that Brian you knew anymore.

But your heart doesn’t cooperate. All your senses remember him crystal clear. It’s like he never left at all. 

The contours of his face and the sparkle in his eyes, the warmth of his body against yours, the taste of his lips, the scent he leaves on your sheets, and the sound of his laughs and whispers and moans in your ear. 

The memories are as vivid as the man standing before you, you can almost touch them. He still looks the Brian you knew and loved, though more worn out and fragile-looking than you remember, and his once dark hair now a fiery red still damp from the rain.

“What are you doing here?” Your voice betrays you, sounding small and defenseless when all you want to do is scream at him to get out. You can’t even bear to say his name. 

No answer. Instead, he averts his gaze and slips past you, taking a seat on the couch and leaving you dumbfounded by the doorway.

“Can we at least talk before you kick me out?” Where has the cocky and confident Brian gone? You were fuming at his audacity to show up unannounced in your place like he always does. Because that’s what he’s good at. Showing up only when it’s convenient. Only when it benefits him, not caring about how it makes you feel.

“Who gave you the right to come back here? After two years? Really?” You couldn’t bring yourself to sit down in the armchair across him. You were fuming, pacing back and forth in front of him, hovering over him like he’s the smallest and most insignificant thing in the universe. “You’re gonna leave me alone with no fucking warning, saying you’re not ready for a relationship, then you’ll come back after two fucking years, expecting me to welcome you with open arms?!”

Your words dripped with venom and Brian didn’t try to defend himself. He just let you throw all your spiteful words at him, taking them as he deserved it. Well, fuck. He  _ did _ deserve it. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes but you refuse to show him how much he has broken you down.

He waited for you to breathe for a moment before starting to speak again.

“I only said I wasn’t ready for us to be together, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you-” A slap across his face didn’t let him finish his sentence. 

“Get out,” 

“Ok, I deserved that, but please hear me out,” Brian caught your hand this time, holding you steady by both arms, making you even more furious. 

“I said get out!” 

He pulled you by both arms. You wanted to resist him but you were too weak in his hold. Being pressed up against his chest opened the floodgates, leaving you crying in his arms for a while. You’re tired. Loving him was exhausting, and you didn’t want to admit you still do until now. 

“I hate you, I fucking hate you,” 

“I know baby, I know,” A fire lit inside you at that familiar nickname, burning you alive. “I don’t know if I can make you hate me any less, but I just want to make things right.”

You want to shut out everything but it’s impossible when Brian’s hands are igniting all the flames you tried so hard to extinguish in the past. Those hands, the hands that caressed you and held you close and made you feel everything was okay, the fingers that sent you to heaven countless times, the same hands that swatted yours away when you reached for him as he walked out of your apartment that night you’re trying so desperately to forget.

There it is, the intoxicating scent you craved every day, the scent that put you to sleep whenever you’re lonely but was never there when you wake up.

Once he was sure you have somewhat calmed down and won’t yell his head off to leave, Brian gently pried himself off you, taking your hands in his and leading you to the couch. A lump formed in your throat thinking about all the things you did on that sofa, still stained and dirty in your eyes no matter how many times you’ve changed the covers. You instantly scooted to one end of the couch, facing the middle and covering the front of your body defensively with a throw pillow even if you’re fully clothed. 

Brian couldn’t meet your eyes as he sat on the other end. He twiddled with his fingers, not knowing what to do with them, a nervous habit of his you have grown accustomed to. 

“I don’t have all night, spill what you need to,” 

“Fuck, where do I even start,” Brian ran a hand through his hair, eyes briefly going to yours before settling on the floor beside him once again. Another nervous habit. You wish you didn’t remember all these details about him, now useless, but you do.

“Yeah, I know you did so much shit that you can’t even begin enumerating them,”

He takes another deep breath. “I’m sorry,”

You laugh bitterly at those words. Does he expect to be forgiven with a half-assed apology? Can that undo all the years worth of pain that started when this thing between the two of you did?

 

You remember it so clearly, the scene having replayed in your head so many times trying to find out what went wrong, what you could have done differently, what could have possibly made him leave.

Your bed was a mess, covers removed from the mattress in some corners, still warm from the fiery encounter you just had. Looking back, Brian did seem quieter, more distraught and restless that night and the past few weeks. Instead of wrapping his arms around you and whispering sweet nothings in your ear like he always does, he cleaned up quickly and gathered his clothes from the floor. 

You peeked at his face as he sat on the edge of the bed fixing his shirt. It was your favorite one, the slightly sheer baby blue fabric over a black undershirt making him look so glowing, ethereal with a dangerous edge. He hasn’t said anything yet you feel the dreaded moment looming over you, so many unspoken words hanging thick in the air.

“I have to go,” His voice was calm and collected, but distant. Very much like his texts leading up to that day. 

_ Sorry, can’t make it tonight. _

_ Won’t make it, gotta work late. _

Were they ever even true? Deep inside you wanted to believe him. 

A heavy sigh escaped your lips, making him stop in his tracks. 

“I just wanted you to stay tonight,” You sit up and lightly caress his arm, hoping the last-minute move can turn him around. “You never stay until morning,” No response. That should have been a red flag, but you were dumb and hopeful, and hopelessly in love. 

“Uhm, about that...” He trailed off, averting his gaze. “Let’s stop this,”

No. You insisted you weren’t hearing it right. You didn’t expect him to stay with you, you knew that day would someday come, but nothing could have prepared you for the blow. Somewhere in the deepest recesses of your heart, you hoped he would want to be with you the same way you did with him. Obviously, that wasn’t the case. 

Brian stood up facing you, grabbing his phone and keys from the nightstand.

“You see… We both know this is temporary, right? This,” He shrugged and gestured with his arm. “Us, we’re bound to end sometime, so why not end it now before we get in too deep?”

“Bri, no, wait, what the hell? Brian!” His hand caught yours as it landed on his arm, his gaze colder than the frigid October air. What else was left to say? He didn’t want to be stopped. He left that night without a trace and you didn’t chase after him anymore. You ruined whatever this is you had the moment you asked him to stay. Oh wait, you ruined the two of you, even the friendship you shared and built for years, all because of one heated kiss, warm alcohol on your lips making you lose all semblance of reasonable thought.

It was convenient and tempting. The promise of a good time and comfort on cold nights, none of the complications attached. After all, you were only friends, right? There shouldn't be any feelings. Everything should be safe. If only you knew how much more complicated it actually was.

One night can indeed ruin your life. This was the day you feared would come, and every day since you cursed yourself for being so stupid for letting one stupid mistake cripple you while he got away with nothing. If alcohol clouded the brain, love clouded the heart worse than any liquor can.

 

No, nothing can be undone. Not even if Brian begs you to forgive him or take him back.

No. His pleading eyes shouldn't be able to break you down. Yet here he is, looking at you like losing you was the worst thing he has ever done. 

“I know I don’t deserve you-”

“Wow, good thing you know,” 

Every word that comes out of your mouth is a stab to his chest and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t hurt too. You’re trying so hard to bite back your tears and you’re afraid it won’t take much before you completely break. You hated it, you hated how weak you are and how even weaker Brian makes you. 

“Cut the bullshit Brian, why did you leave and why are you here?” You spit out, your heart beating loudly in your ears, hoping it would stop you from breaking down but the way Brian flinched at your words instantly made the tears start flowing from your eyes.

“I love you,” He blurted out, a pained expression on his face. “And that’s to answer both your questions,” 

You’re left speechless, the aching in your heart not getting any better.

“Look, I know it’s too much to ask for a second chance when I’m the one who fucked up, but I really don’t know what else I can do,” The panic in Brian’s voice strikes you every time he speaks. “I left because I didn’t think I could take care of you and love you the way you deserve and I thought you’d be better off if I ran off and you hated me instead,”

“You’re so unfair,” You breathe out weakly. “It’s so easy for you to say that, but what do I have aside from your words? Bri, you left without explaining why, and that wasn’t the first and only time you’ve hurt me,” 

You spend the next half an hour in silence and staring at the wall ahead of you, both of you unsure what else to say but you’re too weak to make Brian leave and he’s too stubborn to walk out. 

“Can we start over?” Brian’s shaky voice broke the silence, hands reaching out to wipe the tears falling anew. “I-I’m not asking for us to be together, I know that's too much to ask, but please, let’s at least give this a chance?”

“Bri, you had your chance and you blew it,” You’re not really one to raise your voice, evident by the way Brian cowers every time you speak, but can he blame you? You’ve been holding in how you felt for so long in hopes of suffocating your feelings to death, only to have them drown you instead.

“You still love me, right?”

You clench your jaw hard, as well as your fists balled at your sides, softening when Brian took them in his hands. It hurts to think about how his hands still know their way around you and how easy it is for his touch to calm you down. 

“Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll leave,” His tone is gentle yet firm. You couldn’t bring yourself to answer, knowing full well what you would say, and that is something you’re not ready to face. "Tell me you don't love me and I'll stop," He leaned in closer, stopping when his face is a few inches away from yours to give you a chance to pull away. And when you didn’t, he closed the distance between your lips in a heartbeat, rendering you helpless under his touch. 

He shouldn’t be making you feel like this. He shouldn’t be leaving you breathless with his kisses, his lips moving against yours like they were made to fit only with yours. Your skin shouldn’t be tingling with the touch of his fingertips, your eyes shouldn’t be fluttering shut when he holds you closer by the waist, his other hand reaching out to cup your face and lightly stroke your cheek. But they do. That’s the problem. No matter how hard you try to walk away, you know how easily you’ll take him when he comes crawling back to you.

“Bri, I-” Brian pulled away briefly, expecting you to tell him to stop. "I don't know anymore," 

“I love you, please let me show you,” All resistance and composure left you at those words. You’re as good as putty in his hands, just like that. And his lips are still as sweet, as dangerous and irresistible, still the only lips you want to taste even after all this time. 

His kisses grow more and more fervent, fully intent on not letting you go, and frankly, you don’t even want him to. 

You let him move you to his lap, hands exploring each other’s bodies until clothes are slowly coming off and you know you have passed the point of no return.

“Bedroom?” Brian whispers against your skin and you shake your head. The few seconds it will take to get from the couch to the bed might knock you back to your senses and make you lose the last sliver of recklessness you still have. Maybe you just need to get him out of your system, or maybe he is already so deeply ingrained in your system that you will never be able to wash him out. Either way, you’re letting this happen now or otherwise you’ll never know.

You pull him back to your lips before his kisses travel down your neck and chest, his lips leaving a trail of burns on your skin only you can see and feel. And there it is, the familiar stretch between your legs and the heightened sensations making your toes curl. Except it’s a lot slower than what you’re used to. So slow that you feel all of him slide in and out of you, so unlike his usually lustful and frantic speed. 

It’s sinful. His pace is breathtaking, slow yet reaching in you so deep. He’s taking you so gently yet it’s so easy for him to break you like this, so open and intimate and vulnerable, sharing breaths and heartbeats like you still belong to each other. If you even belonged to each other at all. 

“I missed you,” The words you were dreading the whole time finally escaped your lips. Though faint and trembling, it reached Brian loud and clear, making him answer you with a smile and a more passionate pace that he knows can easily turn you into a whimpering mess underneath him.

You can’t deny it any longer. You did miss him, you missed not only the nights you spent tangled in your sheets but also the hushed laughter and conversations that seemed endless until he had to leave before morning. You miss all of him, even before all that, everything he was to you before your bodies betrayed your hearts. 

It only took a few more minutes that felt like forever for both of you to reach your highs, softly moaning each others’ names like a prayer.

How you wished you could just stay like that forever, warm and comfortable and tangled in each other’s arms, senses in a total haze. 

Is he going to leave? You have already prepared yourself for the worst. Instead, Brian trailed the softest kisses from your forehead to your nose then your lips, down your neck and shoulders until your chest. You freeze at his touch, feeling so exposed, not used to the strange kind of intimacy Brian is showing. 

“Please, let me take care of you,” Brian whispers, eyes locked on yours.

The night has been long and you’re too exhausted to argue. Wordlessly, he placed another kiss on your forehead and carried you to your room, the last thing you remember being Brian pulling up the covers around your still naked form.

 

You wake up with the sunlight hot on your back, face muzzled into Brian’s chest. It must be mid-morning and Brian is still fast asleep in your arms.

It didn’t take too long for Brian to stir in his sleep, eyes blinking lazily at you like he can’t believe what he’s seeing. You can’t believe your eyes either, but the memories of last night flooding back in cannot lie.

“Good morning baby,” Brian held you against his chest again, unable to meet your eyes. 

Does he regret last night? You’re not sure if you do. Not when this is the first time you’re waking up in Brian’s arms, but also hating yourself for being so easily swayed. But what can you do? You feel the rising and falling of his chest and listen to his breathing, and wished you could stay in this bed forever and forget anything bad ever happened. But the world doesn't work that way. No matter how comforting, you can’t hide in this little bubble forever. Sooner or later you would have to face the obvious issue that should have been addressed a long time ago.  _ What are you? _

“You okay?” Brian’s concerned voice interrupted your thoughts.

“Don’t call me ‘baby’, I’m not yours,” Pulling away quickly, you get out of bed and rummaged through your drawer for some clothes. “And don’t think we’re okay after last night, that doesn’t fix anything,”

“I know, and I’m not expecting it to,” He sat up on the bed, gripping the sheets nervously. “Tell me what can fix this then,”

Things would be so much easier if you didn’t get to hear Brian’s morning voice the moment you woke up, and if you didn’t see how stunning he looks under the sunlight filtered by your thin curtains, casting an ethereal glow on his skin. You’re scared to look closer, knowing you’ll be greeted by the tiny moles and spots you’ve traced countless times, forming constellations only for your eyes. 

You already had your moment of weakness and you’re not about to have another one.

“The rain has stopped, you can go now,” You pull a shirt over your head, avoiding his stare.

“Was last night nothing to you?”

“Were the past few years nothing to you? Huh? Bri?”

“That’s what I came here to fix,”

You can feel the frustration in his expression even without looking. Tension lay thick in the air, threatening to crush both of you if you don’t break it. 

Just one glance and you lose it. Brian had his eyes on you the whole time and when they met yours, it was like you didn’t want to lose sight of them again. Is this whole thing worth another shot? Maybe, maybe not. It will take some time to find out.

“Let’s talk about this over coffee then, not like this.” 

 

You still know how to make his coffee. Black with only a tiny bit of sugar. After all this time you’re still carrying little pieces of him with you, all kinds of random details about his life buried in the back of your mind that you wished to forget so many times, knowing you won’t have a use for them anymore.

There is an odd sense of peace in the kitchen like this scene is natural for both of you. The kitchen smelled like pancakes and brewed coffee and you’re sitting side by side by the breakfast counter. If anyone saw at you right now, not knowing what you two have been through, they would think you’re just a regular couple enjoying a lazy Sunday morning breakfast together.

If only Brian stood up for you, if only you fought harder, then you could have been like that.  _ Picture-perfect. Goals. _ Just like how your friends would tease you when you were only friends too scared to cross the line to become lovers. If only you went on a different path, and crossed a different line, would you be suffering as much as you do? 

“Eat up,” You slide a plate with a tall stack of pancakes to his side of the counter. “We both know we don’t function normally without food,”

“You still know me well,” Brian gives you a small smile as he digs into his breakfast, and you do the same. 

“Of course I do,” You mutter to yourself, taking a sip of your coffee. Whether he noticed or not, he didn’t show it. 

You both eat in silence, the crushing tension in the bedroom fortunately gone. What's left now is a dull ache in your heart, an emptiness longing to be filled but the hole left in you has too many scars.

“So, how does this work?” Brian sipped the last of his coffee and put his mug aside, swiveling his chair so he can face you. “Do I just ask you if you wanna be at least friends again and hope you’ll say yes?”

“Yeah, pretty much, I don’t know what else to say,” 

Is this you giving him a chance? You’re not quite sure. 

“Are you saying yes?” 

“Bri, look, I’m not gonna promise you anything, It’s just… so much has happened and I don’t know how much I can give you,” You heave a sigh and put down your fork that you’ve been circling around your plate for the past 15 minutes. Your food remained mostly untouched. You didn’t really have much of an appetite, unlike Brian who’s happily eating like he missed your cooking so much. It reminds you so much of your college days when he would just randomly pop up in your apartment like he owns the place, and you just can’t resist feeding him because he looks so genuinely happy whenever you cook for him. Even if it’s just instant ramen or rice with takeout chicken, you'll do anything to see that smile. 

Can you go back to that again? Just being best friends, happy and uncomplicated. You missed his smile, you missed your own smile when you were with him. 

“I’m not going to ask for anything I know you can’t give,” He hesitantly took your hand in his, the touch of his skin burning even more than it did last night. Despite his calm facade, you could tell he’s so close to breaking down, tears glistening in his eyes and so much desperation in his voice. “I know I fucked up,  _ fuck _ , I accept all of that and I don’t think I deserve someone like you, but please, please, can I at least have my best friend back? I miss you,”

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss you too,” You couldn’t hold back anymore. You’re too tired to fight your tears so you just let them fall and fall, and let Brian catch them. “And I love you, I still love you, why would I be this upset and hurt if I didn’t?”

“I’m sorry for everything, really, I know none of my words can erase the damage I caused but I at least owe you a proper apology, I’m sorry I was too much of a coward to tell you I love you, I’m not running away anymore,” He moved closer, wiping away the tears flowing down your cheeks with his hands. “And I’m sorry about last night, I shouldn’t have, when I knew you were vulnerable and-”

“No, I don’t regret that, I wanted you too, we both know that… Look, I can’t give you an answer just yet, but I’m willing to start over,”

Brian’s face lit up instantly at that. 

“Friends, ok, that’s-” He couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “That’s honestly more than what I deserve,” 

“Now, you’re staying for lunch, ok? Someone needs to eat this curry with me. I bought, like, more than a kilo of meat, and who else is capable of emptying my fridge?” You punch him in the arm lightly.

“Are you saying I can finish half a kilo of meat in one sitting?” He gasped in mock hurt, putting a hand over his heart.

“Nah, you can eat way more than that,”

Brian just shrugged in response, finishing the rest of the pancakes on your plate, just like he usually does. If this is your new normal, then you're sure you'll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> This really was supposed to be more smut than angst, but it turned out the opposite. Oh well.
> 
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